I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
