Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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