I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
