3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
