talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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