morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
