lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
