so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
