I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
