you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
