I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
