College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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