It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
