What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
When did angry sex become our thing?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
