you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
