I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
