My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize