Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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