There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
