I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
