Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
