Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
