Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
