if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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