apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
