awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
