Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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