Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize