Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
