It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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