why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
