I just cut my nipple shaving
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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