Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I think I just sharted jello shots
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
