Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
