I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
