anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
