How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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