dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
