I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Im part way to drunk.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize