quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
