This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
