great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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