; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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