can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just found puke in my bra..
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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