Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize