This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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