I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
