strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
