hotel room ftw
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
