I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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