"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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