I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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