All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
