South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
