I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just had sex on a roof
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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