i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
