Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize