Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
