Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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