CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
