that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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