I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
how drunk are you?
Several
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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