you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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