She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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