So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
