They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
