Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
