I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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