I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
