What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
