try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Randomize
