Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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