just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
