We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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