he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
