TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
