I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize