PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
