I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
