I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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