Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
