the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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