After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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