Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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